Nick Swardson's Pretend Time

The Old House

Season 1 E 7 • 11/23/2010

Rick Jones takes a trip down memory lane in the house he lived in 20 years ago.

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02:14

Masturbating Sniper
Nick Swardson's Pretend TimeS1 E5

An expert rifleman employs an unorthodox approach to taking down his targets.
11/09/2010
01:43

Gay Robot - Facebook Update
Nick Swardson's Pretend TimeS1 E5

When Gay Robot's friend Tito posts a provocative status update, it inspires him to be more forthcoming online.
11/09/2010
01:57

Treasure Map
Nick Swardson's Pretend TimeS1 E5

The captain of a pirate ship learns the unfortunate location of Bluebeard's treasure map.
11/09/2010
02:31

"Avatar" STD
Nick Swardson's Pretend TimeS1 E6

Nick contracts an extraterrestrial STD following a sexual encounter with a colleague.
11/16/2010
01:32

Gay Robot - Sex Offender
Nick Swardson's Pretend TimeS1 E6

Gay Robot's friends show him a new phone app that pinpoints sex offenders living in the area.
11/16/2010
02:29

Critter Gitters
Nick Swardson's Pretend TimeS1 E6

Two animal wranglers find themselves in over their heads when they're sent to deal with an aroused bear.
11/16/2010
02:01

Superman's Repayment
Nick Swardson's Pretend TimeS1 E6

Superman has some suggestions as to how a damsel in distress can repay him for saving her life.
11/16/2010
02:28

Time Capsule
Nick Swardson's Pretend TimeS1 E7

Small-town officials unearth a 100-year-old time capsule and discover some unusual artifacts inside.
11/23/2010
01:49

Gay Robot - Alien Abduction
Nick Swardson's Pretend TimeS1 E7

Gay Robot decides to visit Roswell, New Mexico, so that aliens can probe his orifices.
11/23/2010
02:24

Role-Playing
Nick Swardson's Pretend TimeS1 E7

Nick's girlfriend gets a little too into their role-playing scenario.
11/23/2010
01:51

The Old House
Nick Swardson's Pretend TimeS1 E7

A man arrives at the house where he grew up with a request for the current occupants.
11/23/2010
01:44

Suck Your Own D**k Abs - Uncensored
Nick Swardson's Pretend TimeS2 E1

Finally, an exercise routine that lets men get serious about their bodies and have fun at the same time.
10/05/2011
01:25

Save the Fat Americans
Nick Swardson's Pretend TimeS2 E1

Nick makes an earnest plea for starving families everywhere to help save a fat American.
10/05/2011
03:04

Cat vs. Leg - Uncensored
Nick Swardson's Pretend TimeS2 E1

Nick recounts a harrowing tale of cat-on-human violence.
10/05/2011
03:04

Mom's Cat - Uncensored
Nick Swardson's Pretend TimeS2 E1

Nick gets attacked by his mom's angry but very smart cat.
10/05/2011
01:29

Cinnabon & Day Drinking
Nick Swardson's Pretend TimeS2 E2

Nick describes his dream cologne scent and fantasizes about running errands drunk.
10/12/2011
03:15

Alien Paternity Test - Uncensored
Nick Swardson's Pretend TimeS2 E2

A talk show host reveals the paternity of a baby from a human-extraterrestrial relationship.
10/12/2011
03:12

Suicidal Dog
Nick Swardson's Pretend TimeS2 E3

A dog with a painfully boring owner tries to end it all.
10/19/2011
02:05

Partying Olympics
Nick Swardson's Pretend TimeS2 E3

Nick imagines an international partying competition that includes events like Smirnoff Ice hockey and cross-country peeing.
10/19/2011
01:10

Pinata Your Body
Nick Swardson's Pretend TimeS2 E3

A new alternative to traditional burial puts the fun in funeral.
10/19/2011
01:30

Full Blown Maids
Nick Swardson's Pretend TimeS2 E4

A businessman talks about some of his past ventures, the names of which were no-brainers.
10/26/2011
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