Arj Barker - The Internet | Comedy Central Presents | Comedy Central

Arj Barker doesn't understand his friends who'd rather hang out with their babies.

Arj Barker is convinced that cell phone companies are purposely trying to run up your minutes.

Who wants their life's savings carted around in a stagecoach?

Nobody can learn our military secrets... unless the have the Discovery Channel.

Arj Barker doesn't have the money to have tantric sex for five or six hours.

Every time you flush the toilet in Australia there's a big crap tornado.

Arj Barker was high on life, until he built up a tolerance.

Everything Arj Barker knows about Ireland he learned from watching soap commercials.

It's Irish tradition to take your soap for a walk, compliment it, and then hack it up with a hunting knife.

Arj Barker joins a subsection of the mile high club.

Arj Barker is both excited and concerned about his long-distance relationship.

Arj Barker learns you need more than just a computer to get online.

Arj Barker explains the difference between American and Australian comforts.

Arj Barker recalls his history with marijuana.

Arj Barker quit smoking cigarettes but wouldn't have worried about his health if it were 1923.

Arj Barker feels good about working on his cryptic car.

Arj Barker thought Ireland was going to be more like the soap commercials.

The 4th of July is more popular in America than in any other country in the world.

Razor blades in candy does not make financial sense.

Citibank does not know how to spell "city."

There are too many categories of shoes.

Arj has no documents that need to be somewhere in a hurry.

Google has a serious attitude problem.

Most voicemail options are redundant.

Arj honestly thought it would be fun to get laid.

A date is not a sporting event.

Arj got too stoned and paranoid to see "Cop Land."

There's no rule that you have to love the radio station you just won the contest on.

Ireland is not like the soap commercials.

A woman is a highly developed, deeply intelligent, infinitely complicated being.

Depending on your definition of a lake, Minnesota is the land of 10,000 lakes.

When you're that tolerant, you sometimes forget what a bunch of a-holes live in the rest of the country.

Once something's a ride at Disneyland, it should no longer be a threat in real life.

You should wait until you're on a crowded flight to express your medical concerns.

Arj doesn't want to know if he's going to die of a super horrible disease that there's no cure for.

In this exclusive, Arj doesn't know how or why he's so zen. He makes the power of now look like the power of then.