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Demetri Martin - Cat People

Does your dog bite? No? Then how does he eat?

Views: 170,403
Posted: 01/04/2007

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Douche bags make up 15% of Hummer owners.

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Hiking is just walking where it's okay to pee.

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Demetri Martin - Cat People

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Comedy Central Presents: Demetri Martin - Interview

Demetri Martin eats "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter." Where IS Fabio now?.

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Comedy Central Presents: Demetri Martin - Swimming Confusion

Demetri on Christmas wrapping, backseat drunk driving, the confusion of swimming, and more.

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Comedy Central Presents: Demetri Martin - Enhancers

Demetri's Large Pad helps him convey the pictures in his head.

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Comedy Central Presents: Demetri Martin - Sort Of

Demetri wonders what the most intelligent thing ever said that started with the word "Dude" was.

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Comedy Central Presents: Demetri Martin - Inspiration

Meet the creatures who live in Demetri's subconscious

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Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Drunk Backseat Driver

Don't make the same Halloween costume mistake as Demetri Martin.

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10/30/2008
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Comedy Central Presents: Demetri Martin - Jets?

Demetri Martin is unconvinced by the prestige of Employee of the Month.

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Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Material Enhancers

Demetri Martin adds another set of wings to a hawk.

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10/30/2008
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Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Brick Wall

Demetri Martin sets a more comedy club-like tone.

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10/30/2008
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Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Dude

Demetri Martin is not a smoker, but he does carry a lighter.

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Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Stuttering

There's a reason there are no B batteries.

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10/30/2008
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Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Magical Place

Take a magical journey to the shire where Demetri Martin's jokes come from.

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10/30/2008
Views:
35,541

Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Fifth Person

Demetri Martin writes the first book in the fifth person perspective.

Posted:
10/30/2008
Views:
43,583

Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Handshake

If you cut off Demetri's handshake, he will curtsey on your ass.

Posted:
10/30/2008
Views:
49,344

Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Tiny Garbage Can

If Demetri left out tiny garbage cans, he would also leave a tiny sweater.

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10/30/2008
Views:
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Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Doors

Every door isn't heavy.

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10/30/2008
Views:
45,992

Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Findings

Twenty seven percent of Hummer owners are pricks.

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10/30/2008
Views:
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Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Porcupines

Porcupines are also skewers.

Posted:
10/30/2008
Views:
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Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Stuff on Piano

If you can't tell the difference between a spoon and a ladle, then you're fat.

Posted:
10/30/2008
Views:
16,312

Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Stuff on Guitar

Cakes are the only food we write on.

Posted:
10/30/2008
Views:
11,806

Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Art

You shouldn't scratch a CD or a boob.

Posted:
10/30/2008
Views:
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Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Mytho-Zoology

Mytho-Zoology is a crappy band from San Diego.

Posted:
10/30/2008
Views:
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Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Harmonica

Demetri has never met a woman with a conditional identity before.

Posted:
10/30/2008
Views:
57,935

Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Where Jokes Go

Demetri's jokes go into outer space.

Posted:
10/30/2008
Views:
22,860
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