Harland Williams - Technology | Comedy Central Presents | Comedy Central

Get Harland his curly fries, he's been cleared for take-off.

What chance do you have of survival when you're born pink?

When you have your chin removed, you have to cancel your violin lessons.

Harland describes his act as the face of a bulldog meeting a ceiling fan.

What would happen if Wonder Woman ordered at a drive-thru?

It's so humiliating to be attacked by a skunk.

If flamingos defend themselves by kicking, they'll fall flat on their faces.

Cops always call you "son" when they pull you over.

If you're getting cosmetic surgery, make sure you don't confuse body parts.

You need to know tanning salon protocol.

A woman in the audience reveals that her dog can talk.

Buying ink cartridges is more expensive than buying a printer.

All you have to do to speak Chinese is just try and do it.

Some days, it feels like you have a Harry Potter penis.

Everyone pretends to hold the elevator.

The next time you see an owl, it might be Harland Williams.

Beeping watches, pagers and cell phones make it sound like you're in Star Wars.

Harlan's 67-year-old dad got a tattoo.

Harland Williams feels bad for his sick dog.

Flies are not exactly at the top of the food chain.

Harland Williams does an impression of a Spanish Jack Nicholson.

Harland Williams is a comedian of the future.

Harland finally had cosmetic surgery.

Premium Blend is not a gasoline.

Cosmetic surgery has it's ups and downs.

Harland Williams likes to have fun when going through customs.

Harland couldn't get to sleep last night.

Harland unifies the audience with a poem.

Harland loves to barbecue.

Just another one of the government's many conspiracies.

The government won't tell us where baby powder comes from.

Everyone's pretended to push the elevator's door open button.

There are cheaper ways to get manure.

It shouldn't be a problem that most Americans can't find Germany on the map.

Doesn't the Pillsbury Doughboy get off on anything other than baked goods?

Wrinkle cream doesn't work.

Jelly donuts could save your life in a car accident.

Those priests sure do love to talk.