Brian Posehn - Comedy Friend | Comedians of Comedy | Comedy Central

I have the same taste in music as a 15-year-old metal head.

I stack the comics that I'm going to read alphabetically.

I knew it wasn't me because my butt didn't tell my brain that I farted.

After a joke, I'd love to go, "That was about my weiner. Now, f**k it up!"

My friends will tell me about Rove stuff, and I'll shut off 'cause I'll be thinking of Spider-Man.

I'm friends with most of the funny guys... except Zach Galifianakis. I'll kill him!

Brian still hates jocks, and he doesn't even know any jocks.

Let the ladies know that later on, if they play their cards right, they can see the other inch.

I love all the crazy street people you can see in New York.

If the words "Chicken Monkey" mean nothing to you, well, you're not alone. They don't mean anything to geek/comic/metal fan Brian Posehn either!

Brian Posehn likes watching the homeless fight ghosts.

It was easier to quit meat than pot.

Men should show off their parts, too.

Brian Posehn can have sex with cats any time he wants.

KY lubricant -- when it's time to punish your schlong.

Why won't anyone kill themselves for Uncle Sam?

Brian goes shoe shopping with his mom's boyfriend.

Maybe Brian Posehn isn't a dork after all.

Brian calls a pretty lady a homo.

It would be great if Mexican babies spoke during movies.

Getting into fights with your best friend isn't the same when you're an adult.

Your friends are probably lying about the girl they are setting you up with.

Crazy people might seem a little less crazy if they had a kid with them.

A hotel employee in Chicago was relieved to find out that Brian Posehn was a comedian and an actor.

All you need are two things to get high with Brian Posehn: ask him and weed.

Brian Posehn listens to death metal in his car so it sounds like demons fighting.

A hotel employee in Chicago was relieved to find out that Brian Posehn was a comedian and an actor.