Terry Time | RENO 911! | Comedy Central

Girls love 80s parties so much they'll pretty much go to any 80s party anytime. Even if it's being thrown by an international terrorist.

Drunk chicks are the best, because they always start out so cocky, but eventually you get the drunk chick spiral.

Drinking is fantastic because it makes you so much more chill about life's trials, and it actually makes fast food taste awesome.

Alcohol poisoning definitely isn't fun. But what is kind of fun is trying to explain what happened to someone else.

Any party text that starts out "Dude dot dot dot" you know is off to a good start. Whatever follows is gonna be good.

Dangle and Wiegel bust Terry on a street corner, only to meet his unlikely beau.

The Minnesota Planet Hollywood has the lamest memorabilia.

Nick Swardson can't wait to be a foul-mouthed old man.

Going to the beach? Make sure you wear your tiara.

Nick Swardson as super fan Hector helps Jon Heder return to professional skating.

You have about 70 wine coolers and you are flying!

Nick Swardson boils down his comedy -- booze, the handicapped, diarrhea and fireworks.

Nick wonders why no one mentions diarrhea.

Terry thinks he'd be great in Starlight Express, if they ever have the courage to re-mount it.

Terry admits to committing a melody in the past six months.

Nick always tells "you had to be there" stories.

Your funeral is your last party on Earth.

Vanna White got the best job ever.

Pokemon is like crack to kids.

Nick's grandmother just turned 90 years old.

It's hard for Nick to compete with his grandma's problems.

Nick Swardson makes his stories better by lying.

Nick Swardson would much rather be shot than stabbed.

A funeral should be a good time.

Quitting pot is amazing.

Working at Planet Hollywood in Minnesota is pretty lame.

After six years of studying apes in the mountains, Jane Goodall just left.

Talking about Pokemon can be compared to talking about bathroom products.

Older video games must sound crazy to kids today.

No matter how weak you are, Grandma is always weaker.

No matter how bad things are, they're always worse for old people.

Nick Swardson will curse and listen to rap when he's old.

Nick can't compete with his magician friend.

Nick Swardson is just trying to avoid a fight.

An ape couldn't walk into your house and study you.

Nick Swardson takes a look back at his storied career, from his early work on the railroads to his performances in African-American face.

Nick Swardson talks about filming a steamy sex scene with Shirley Jones.

Nick Swardson's mom gave him a breathalyzer to make him more responsible.

For sexual orientation on MySpace, who is "Not Sure" for? Is there really somebody out there who doesn't have a clue?

Online gaming can get kind of intense when you're really into it. And that can make things a little awkward with your apartment building neighbors.

Wouldn't it be a cool world if everybody had to become the very first thing they ever wanted to be? There'd be ninjas and princesses everywhere.

Coming this holiday season -- an album from one of the world's finest voices, if not "the" finest.