Eugene Mirman - HyJinks | Comedy Central Presents | Comedy Central

If you start a band, don't call it Huey Lewis and the News. There is already a band with that name.

As far as Eugene Mirman knows, homonyms are allowed on planes.

Eugene Mirman starts a new art movement.

Playing dead to protect yourself from bear attack is a rumor the bears have spread.

The bar for doing nice things has been lowered since the mid-1800s.

Below 14th Street, you can have as much scotch as you want and it doesn't hurt you.

Certain abbreviated greetings should be acceptable in our culture.

People will do anything to be on TV, even let you into their club with a fake mustache on.

Eugene Mirman surveys the presidential field while trying not to offend anyone.

No more half-kicking ass, 'cause that just confuses people. Let's blow up Delaware.

Your website can get rich off my being furious at Denis Leary for stealing my fireman show.

Eugene got an A+ and a place in special education at the same time.

It was so nice of Eugene to return that iPod to the person who lost it.

Bears are gentrifying Detroit.

You can't just make up stereotypes and present them as if they're real.

Eugene sneaks funny, not dangerous, items onto airplanes.

Don't start a band named Huey Lewis and the News.

Eugene signed up for a credit card that allowed him to pick the security question.

According to a man protesting genetic engineering on the street, society's got a long way to go.

This month's Open Mic Challenge theme is The Best of '09, so take your best stand-up from '09 and put it here.

A real dare is building a time machine, jerking off in it, then sending it to Hitler.

Linens 'N Things went out of business because they weren't specific enough.

Religion becomes clear the second that you realize that God is a 12-year-old boy with Asperger's.

The immigrant in Eugene, who came to America to seek a better life, is disappointed in the district attorney.

Health care is something no one should get because there are too many people, especially Chinese people. Right?