This man. Do you see this man? Do you see the glasses he's wearing? They are computer glasses. Have you heard of these?
We'd all like to see the world through rose-colored glasses. Apparently, the internet is best through piss-colored glasses.
These are glasses — specially tinted glasses — designed for viewing a computer screen. The yellow tint is designed to reduce "eyestrain" and provide other pseudo-scientific benefits like MORE ENERGY! Yes, tinted glasses can do these sorts of things. You just have to believe. In homeopathy.
But don't take my word for it! Take their word for it! Here are some of the technologies that the manufacturer (Gunnar) uses:
diAMIX™ lens material offers an optically pure viewing experience with ultra-light, ergonomic properties;
iONik™ lens tint takes artificial light and precisely tunes it to the physiology of the eye;
fRACTYL™ lens geometry mimics nature to aid the natural focusing power of the corneal lens and creates a preferential ocular microclimate.
i-Fi™ lens coatings capture good light from digital screens while filtering out glare and reflective light;
Pretty serious, huh? "i-Fi" is a hip trademark in so many different ways. They're lucky they got that one.
But even if you buy their pitch and choose to get a pair, it probably doesn't matter. Remember: Girls who wear glasses seldom get passes. Geeks don't get passes either way.
There's a pretty swell list of how popular internet things compare to their addictive drug counterparts. It's got MySpace as "huffing spray paint" because it "destroys any chance of looking credible" and Vimeo as a good tab of acid. And, indeed, YouTube can ruin a party as bad as a bottle of tequila. But I definitely have some trouble with them comparing Tumblr to a nice bottle of wine. Here's how he explains it:
A quiet night in with a couple friends, and a couple of their friends. Spilling nostalgic stories, flipping through photo albums, singing favorite songs, aiming for poignancy, and occasionally stumbling onto it. Emotions flow freely and without thought.
Ok, but why the nice bottle of wine? You couldn't have this same event with a cheap bottle of wine? Or any bottle of wine? Or any alcohol for that matter? Suddenly, because you're a Tumblr fanboy, it's a bottle of Opus One. Get over yourself.
Yesterday, a woman in Orange County called the cops after hearing a noise downstairs. It was probably the sound of her gold-plated dishwasher running, but she suspected it was a burglar.
Okay –- fair enough -– I’m fine with her calling the police for the occasional frivolous incident since she probably paid for the whole police department with the luxury taxes on her nose job.
But here’s when things got a little ridiculous. According to the OC Register, after the police checked out her home, finding no evidence of a break-in, she “requested that the deputies Google Earth her house and keep it on satellite surveillance overnight.”
I’m kind of surprised she hadn’t already bought a hybrid-electric-powered satellite space telescope from Hammacher Schlemmer to watch over her estate. Everyone has one of those.
I guess she presumed that kind of Enemy of the State technology was just a standard government service. I mean, they even get that kind of service in Iran for free. Like, from the CIA.
He happens to be playing a just-released-on-Monday Tony Hawk video game right before Christmas season. There's no way this is staged!
A dog playing a skateboard video game wouldn't be that hard to fake when you think about it. All you really see him do is sit, stay, come forward a little bit, etc. I won't be impressed until they can get a dog to beat Dance Dance Revolution.
I don’t know if it’s even possible to “upgrade” Tosh.0. The show is already so good. But who knows –- season two might be that much more mind-blowing. That's why this week, I'm peddling the domain name ToshPoint1.com. Any takers?
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This man. Do you see this man? Do you see the glasses he's wearing? They are computer glasses. Have you heard of these?
Yesterday, a woman in Orange County called the cops after hearing a noise downstairs. It was probably the sound of her gold-plated dishwasher running, but she suspected it was a burglar.
This week's unclaimed domain:
