comedycentral:

Ask a Professional Comedian: Jonah Ray

Tomorrow night, The Half Hour: Jonah Ray premieres at 12a/11c. But first Jonah will be taking your questions right here on our Tumblr at noon EST / 9am PST.

Submit your questions here, and make sure you mention they’re for Jonah.

Until then, watch Jonah talk about meeting Lars Ulrich in this clip from the special.

comedycentral:

Ask a Professional Comedian: Gabe Liedman

Anonymous asked you:
Is your mother fodder for your comedy when she’s not in the audience?

It’s weird, I barely talk about my family in my comedy, and it’s not because they’re not insane.  I guess that’s just not where my comedic mind goes?  I can tell you this, though: my mom is one of the funniest people you’ll ever meet, and I get a lot of my sense of humor from her.  My whole family is funny—I’m probably the least funny of all.  I’m the quiet one.

nickstoeberl asked you:
Gabe. gays are cool. but sometimes i only think they like me because i literally have the world’s longest tongue. how do i distance myself, yet not come off disrespectful…. #cereal

What are you like that all these gays know how long your tongue is?  Are you always showing it off?  Maybe they like you so much because you’re always showing them your tongue and they think you want to hook up with them on the low?  You can distance yourself without seeming disrespectful by not telling everyone how long your tongue is, lol.

Anonymous asked you:
Gabe: What’s the best piece of advice you’ve gotten from a comedian and who was it?

Stand-up-wise, Nick Kroll told me not to start my material right when I got on stage.  Fuck around a little and feel what it’s like up there first, then start.  It’s changed everything.  You can really get tunnel vision when you’re up there and forget you’re in a room with actual other people.

Anonymous asked you:
Gabe Liedman, New York or LA? Take a side!

New York for your 20’s, LA for grownups.  Eh?

Anonymous asked you:
What does Jenny Slate smell like?

Lol.  This is what I’d ask about Matt Damon, so I guess you are deeply in love with Jenny, and who could blame you?  She wears a perfume that’s like fresh flowers— orange blossoms I think?  It’s pretty faint and very nice, not overwhelming or too sweet.  She NEVER has B.O.—like in the million years I’ve known her, never.  She farts a ton but those don’t smell either, which makes no sense.  Being around her is much more of a SOUND experience than a SMELL one, sense-wise.  Also: she’s married to a v hot guy, sorry :/

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That does it for this installment of Ask a Professional Comedian. Many thanks to the great Gabe Liedman for participating and to everyone who sent in questions.

The Half Hour: Gabe Liedman premieres tomorrow night at 12:30a/11:30c.

comedycentral:

Ask a Professional Comedian: Gabe Liedman

blackcannonball asked you:
gabe question! every time i watch a comedian, they never have any notes or anything. how do y’all remember your jokes?(or is there a teleprompter or something)

Welp!  You nailed it!  For these specials we totally had a teleprompter which was like our set lists.  It told us what our next joke was, and also how much time we had left!  It was mostly just there for comfort though—I only looked at mine when it started blinking ‘10 MINUTES LEFT.’  In real life I also don’t bring notes up on stage with me.  I just like to be kind of loose and free, and however it comes out is how it comes out.  It’s a total bummer, though, when I forget to say something I was planning to say.  Notes would help with that!  So I guess to answer your question: teleprompter for TV, freeballin’ in real life!

montgomerywayne asked you:
What’s the most illegal thing you’ve ever done? Where my Outlaws at? Guess that’s 2 ?’s!

…Maybe buy weed from you at SXSW?  But that shouldn’t be illegal, right???  GROW UP, TX.  Hi Montgomery!  I don’t break a lot of laws per se, or at least not important ones, but I’m an outlaw in different ways!  For example I FUCKING HATE THE FUCKING MAN, MAN!  Also I stole dumbells from my old gym, which is literally psychotic :/

Anonymous asked you:
Q4 Gabe, what number is beryllium on the periodic table , jk, fave chip flavor?

42069? JK: sour cream & onion TIED with jalepeno!

davidjoxley asked you:
Gabe: Kittens,Puppies….or Bourbon?

PUPPIES!!! Allergic to kittens and bourbon is TOO #FLAVORFUL! I’m a vodka boyeeee.

currentsingleladyfuturecatlady asked you:
Dear Gabe, You and Jenny Slate have been my favorite guests on You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes. Have you and Jenny ever thought of starting your own podcast or any other new projects together? That would be a dream come true for me.

Thank you so much!  Jenny and I have many more BESTIEXBESTIE videos on the way, via Funny or Die.  But also?  When you’re psycho cartoon characters like us, everything’s a PROJECT.  We just went to Trader Joe’s together!  LOLOL—see?!?!?!?

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Gabe Liedman is answering your questions right now! Submit them here, and be sure to watch The Half Hour: Gabe Liedman tomorrow night at 12:30a/11:30c.