GOOD HEAVENS, PEOPLE. Today is the day! Tonight at 10:30, all new episodes of RENO 911!

Here's a fun idea for how to watch the show tonight.

IN YOUR SWIMSUIT.

Yes, it's the dead middle of winter. Yes, it's freezing outside. But what better way to fight seasonal affected disorder than TURNING THE HEAT WAY UP in your room, and watching the Season Premiere in your swimsuit, with a large plastic cup of RUM.

If you can, try to get the temperature in your room up to 100 or so, and turn all the lights on REALLY BRIGHT. Voila! It's like your on vacation in Cabo San Lucas. Then lie back, and enjoy the show.

Now -- be careful if you have WICKER FURNITURE. As this can lead to serious ass-splinters. If you have wicker or rough wood furniture -- put two coasters under your cheeks, or some saran wrap on your buns.

Even if you don't have wooden furniture, the saran wrap on your buns can be fun. Trust me.

Enjoy the show.

Your humble servant,
James Ron Dangle,
Patriot, saran-wrap enthusiast.