Important Things with Demetri Martin Official Site | Comedy Central

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Important Things with Demetri Martin Official Site | Comedy Central

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Important Things with Demetri Martin

Control - Good, Bad, Interesting

There are a lot of times in life when control is important. Choose those moments wisely.

Views: 38,903
Posted: 04/09/2010

Important Things with Demetri Martin

Control - Agent James Steel

Agent 009 is OK with being seduced and killed -- as long as it happens in that order.

Views: 14,128
Posted: 04/09/2010

Important Things with Demetri Martin

Control - A**hole Roommate From the Future

In Toby's time, they have lists, and it turns out that this time is the worst time ever.

Views: 5,430
Posted: 04/09/2010

Important Things with Demetri Martin

Space - Word Spaces

When you construct a sentence, word order matters, but space placement matters even more.

Views: 33,297
Posted: 04/09/2010

Learn more about law school dropout and palindrome enthusiast Demetri Martin.

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Important Things with Demetri Martin

Game

Times Played: 169,259

Most Recent
Most Viewed
Demetri's Stand-up

Back to Back Music Video

Sarah and Demetri go together like a thumb and a tack.

Posted:
01/27/2010
Views:
34450

Control - Good, Bad, Interesting

There are a lot of times in life when control is important. Choose those moments wisely.

Posted:
04/16/2009
Views:
38313

Control - Agent James Steel

Agent 009 is OK with being seduced and killed -- as long as it happens in that order.

Posted:
04/16/2009
Views:
13956

Control - A**hole Roommate From the Future

In Toby's time, they have lists, and it turns out that this time is the worst time ever.

Posted:
04/16/2009
Views:
5360

Space - Word Spaces

When you construct a sentence, word order matters, but space placement matters even more.

Posted:
04/08/2009
Views:
32051

Space - Near-Death Experience

James wonders what the vision he saw as he lay dying means about the afterlife.

Posted:
04/08/2009
Views:
17196

Space - Prison Break

Melman figures out an escape plan, but his gang wants to go the Peterson way.

Posted:
04/08/2009
Views:
16729

Space - Warp Speed

In the future, mankind will be able to travel at warp speed at the touch of a button.

Posted:
04/08/2009
Views:
11978

Nature - Gayfoot

Does sasquatch exist? Is he gay? Does it matter? A panel of experts explores the controversy.

Posted:
04/01/2009
Views:
19015

Nature - Jokes About Nature

Demetri explains how to be a laid-back spelunker and why duck hunting is especially cruel.

Posted:
04/01/2009
Views:
14562

Nature - The Naturalist

Two naturalist documentarians engage in a turf fight while tracking animals in the wild.

Posted:
04/01/2009
Views:
12518

Nature - The Forbes 100 Richest Wild Animals

Forbes Magazine profiles four animals who have amassed enormous fortunes in the wild.

Posted:
04/01/2009
Views:
4800

Games - Emotional Escape Artist

Devon Cottonfield prepares to slip out of a relationship in his most daring emotional escape, but meets his true match.

Posted:
03/25/2009
Views:
185183

Games - Passive Aggressive Race

The world's most passive-aggressive athletes show off their non-confrontational one-upmanship techniques.

Posted:
03/25/2009
Views:
114754

Games - Greater Than or Equal To

Demetri plays a status game where turtles outrank baby nephews and a Rubik's Cube finds equal footing with a drag queen.

Posted:
03/25/2009
Views:
109918

Games - The Annihilator

Chess will never be the same after the introduction of a new power piece, forged in the fires of Hell.

Posted:
03/25/2009
Views:
82199

Games - Some Jokes About Games

Demetri proposes an improvement to professional sports and pities high scorers on video games.

Posted:
03/25/2009
Views:
73877

Games - Deleted Scenes

A thumb wrestling match between green berets and chess with a king turn serious.

Posted:
03/25/2009
Views:
72648

Games - Bird-Pranked

A team of tricksters takes some retribution after thousands of years of being pooped on.

Posted:
03/25/2009
Views:
62440

Lines - Break-Up Lines

Everyone knows a few pick-up lines, but no one ever thinks about what to say when they break up.

Posted:
03/25/2009
Views:
32901

Fun Bags

Callie confronts Mark and accuses him of picking up girls in a bar the night after they slept together.

Posted:
03/17/2010
Views:
282533

Christ Angel

An audience volunteer helps superstar magician Christ Angel with an elaborate card trick.

Posted:
03/24/2010
Views:
270313

The Demon Chick

You know that time when you've just moved to the city, and you take the first apartment you find on CraigsList with some dude you never expected?

Posted:
03/17/2010
Views:
208912

Three Hole

Callie introduces Mark to her "three hole" while they're in the shower.

Posted:
03/31/2010
Views:
197410

Group Therapy

Mark gets all of the recent immigrants together to share their problems in a group setting.

Posted:
03/17/2010
Views:
190827

Social Services Shutdown

Mark tells the group session that the Social Services department will be shutting down, sending everyone into a panic.

Posted:
04/28/2010
Views:
186515

Blob

Leonard asks for Mark's assistance while interviewing a blob.

Posted:
04/07/2010
Views:
165292

Treegasm

Mark can't understand why everyone is going crazy for Treegasm, the mating festival for Central Park treatures.

Posted:
04/14/2010
Views:
113807

Mad Larry Disease

Mad Larry Disease sweeps through New York, transforming everyone into Larry King.

Posted:
04/21/2010
Views:
81630

Callie's Confusing Emotions

The demon baby goes on a drink-fueled rampage, and Callie appears to Mark at the bar in the form of a brunette human.

Posted:
03/31/2010
Views:
80775

Vampire Conversions

The judge orders proper vampire conversion for Blayke and Tristen while Lt. Grimes and his Department of Integration officers attend anger management.

Posted:
04/21/2010
Views:
79637

Demon Baby

Callie's boobs start to grow when she sees Mark holding a demon baby.

Posted:
03/31/2010
Views:
79410

Randall's New Body

Randall is given part of a woman's body as a loaner after he loses his lower half.

Posted:
04/28/2010
Views:
65720

D.O.I. Cutbacks

After a night of S&M with his boss, Mark learns about job cutbacks at the Department of Integration.

Posted:
03/17/2010
Views:
63764

Leonard's Resignation

Mark races to stop Leonard's resignation as wizard at the Department of Integration.

Posted:
03/24/2010
Views:
49774

Tristen and Blayke

Blayke must be approved by the Vampire Processing Bureau, and Frank Grimes must control his murderous rage.

Posted:
04/21/2010
Views:
48529

Larry King Sighting

While spying on Tristen and Blayke, Mark and Randall spot Larry King on the swings at Tony Danza High School.

Posted:
04/21/2010
Views:
48042

Trust Exercise

Mark tries to help a werewolf and his victim in a trust exercise, and Leonard reveals his feelings about Christ Angel.

Posted:
03/24/2010
Views:
43330

Yeti in the Bathroom

Mark attempts to confront Randall about the clogged sink and finds a yeti in the bathroom.

Posted:
04/07/2010
Views:
42607

Randall and Callie Fight

The fight is definitely on once Callie starts giving Randall orders in his own house.

Posted:
04/21/2010
Views:
38890

Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Jets?

Demetri Martin is unconvinced by the prestige of Employee of the Month.

Posted:
10/30/2008
Views:
105,251

Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Dude

Demetri Martin is not a smoker, but he does carry a lighter.

Posted:
10/30/2008
Views:
52,109

Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Magical Place

Take a magical journey to the shire where Demetri Martin's jokes come from.

Posted:
10/30/2008
Views:
51,102

Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Handshake

If you cut off Demetri's handshake, he will curtsey on your ass.

Posted:
10/30/2008
Views:
96,720

Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Tiny Garbage Can

If Demetri left out tiny garbage cans, he would also leave a tiny sweater.

Posted:
10/30/2008
Views:
24,090

Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Stuff on Piano

If you can't tell the difference between a spoon and a ladle, then you're fat.

Posted:
10/30/2008
Views:
27,869

Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Stuff on Guitar

Cakes are the only food we write on.

Posted:
10/30/2008
Views:
28,998

Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Art

You shouldn't scratch a CD or a boob.

Posted:
10/30/2008
Views:
27,137

Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Mytho-Zoology

Mytho-Zoology is a crappy band from San Diego.

Posted:
10/30/2008
Views:
16,513

Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Harmonica

Demetri has never met a woman with a conditional identity before.

Posted:
10/30/2008
Views:
69,829

Jokes.com: Demetri Martin - Where Jokes Go

Demetri's jokes go into outer space.

Posted:
10/30/2008
Views:
32,842

Download Season 1 of Important Things on iTunes.

Watch deleted scenes, including green beret thumb wrestling and the king who loved chess, with John Oliver.