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Happy Hour Survival Guide - Maria Bamford: Matchmaking Service
It's amazing how many people on dating sites enjoy fine dining.
Missed last week's lesson on Successful Socializing? We'll catch you up.
Find a table with a small, intimate group and stand next to it. Fake cholera.
Shout "Free beer for anyone who can do a three foot vertical jump!"
Put on an eye patch and tuck your arm inside your shirt. Inconspicuously join a large group at their table. Declare the table haunted in a raspy growl.
Lick a co-workers table and fold your arms triumphantly.
Station scouts in every corner of the room. Establish a rallying call. Like "Auoooogh!" But not that. "Auoooogh" is pretty played out.