I wish I had a designated black person to follow me around and say the stuff I want to say, but I can't. Because black people don't have filters; they just say it. Imagine that: I'm breaking up with a girl, 'You know comedy's getting real tough right now; it's getting real hard for me. I just can't do it.' The black guy comes out of nowhere -- he's like, 'Bitch, you ugly. That's what he was trying to say, but he ain't black.'
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