If I were eight years old, that would be my ultimate fantasy -- to have my very own paralyzed dog. 'Cause, you know, your stuffed animals -- they're cute and fluffy, but they're not alive.
Watch highlights from the legendary comedian’s first stand-up special in 30 years.
We combed the nation for the next great stand-up star.
Unlimited streams and downloads of the best Comedy Central specials for just $5.
Stream hours of the best clips from our huge stand-up library on your iPhone or iPad for free.