How the hell do you have a war and then say, 'Jeez, we don't have enough bullets. We don't have enough Kevlar vests. We don't have enough tanks and jeeps that are protected from the enemy. Go, send your son, and by the way, we're gonna send him there for as long as we'd like him to be there.' Meanwhile, moms back home are having bake sales. This is insane! Since when is it OK that the safety of our soldiers depends on how much Apple Brown Betty Mrs. Maplewood sells? 'Sorry boys, we only sold two pans of bars, so you're gonna have to make your own flak vest with a downed Apache helicopter and some old gum.'
Watch highlights from the legendary comedian’s first stand-up special in 30 years.
We combed the nation for the next great stand-up star.
Unlimited streams and downloads of the best Comedy Central specials for just $5.
Stream hours of the best clips from our huge stand-up library on your iPhone or iPad for free.