My wife was in labor for 30 hours. Then, at the end of that, she had a C-section. After 30 hours, the doctor said, 'Well, it looks like we have to go get him.' I guess we couldn't have done that yesterday? You know why they had to go get him? I'm quoting now -- this is actually what the doctor said: 'His head's too big.' I don't want to hear that. I'm in the hospital; I'm paying for this expert service. I want technical terms. I want to hear, 'We'll have to go get him. He's got headus enormous.'
Check out the list of comedians slated to tape specials in Boston this March.
This year’s fest takes place April 1-5, featuring Chelsea Handler among others.
We combed the nation for the next great stand-up star.
Unlimited streams and downloads of the best Comedy Central specials for just $5.
Stream hours of the best clips from our huge stand-up library on your iPhone or iPad for free.