I was babysitting a couple of weeks ago -- OK, I wasn't babysitting. I was trying to sleep with this woman. She was babysitting, so that automatically made me her assistant. And, you know, of course you gotta put the kids to sleep. We tried everything: I smoked blunts in their faces, I gave them Hennessy -- nothing worked.
Watch highlights from the legendary comedian’s first stand-up special in 30 years.
We combed the nation for the next great stand-up star.
Unlimited streams and downloads of the best Comedy Central specials for just $5.
Stream hours of the best clips from our huge stand-up library on your iPhone or iPad for free.