Q: What's the first joke you ever wrote?
A: I have to be honest on this one, because there is video evidence from my parents' camcorder. "What do you get when you cross a hundred Mario's with an elephant? A hundred flat Mario's." Don't judge. I was four.

Q: What is the source of your sense of humor?
A: It's an ancient Egyptian amulet that I retrieved from the dying hands of an old gypsy who crossed me one too many times.

Q: In school, were you the class clown or the quiet nerd?
A: I refuse to answer your dichotomous question and confine the breadth of my personality to some gradeschool archetype.

Q: Is it better to be feared or loved on your way up the comedy ladder?
A: Probably loved, becase if the people above you fear you too much, they may wet themselves. And we all know how gravity works.

Q: Your stardom: a karmic inevitability or old fashioned luck?
A: Actually I would use Winston Churchill's phrase "Blind, stupid, doo-dah luck." Or maybe that was Tommy Lee Jones in Batman Forever. I always get those two confused.