Q: What's the first joke you ever wrote?
A: I actually still use it today. It's about how I hate it when thugs walk with an intentional limp. It's kind of sad that I still rely on a joke I wrote when I was 14.

Q: What is the source of your sense of humor?
A: My father's absence caused me to seek a father-figure in my older brother, who was emotionally and physically abusive. Humor became my defense mechanism. Is that too real for you?

Q: In school, were you the class clown or quiet nerd?
A: I was voted "class clown" my the 8th grade Bay Middle School yearbook. But I'd prefer a third option: the "quiet jock" who sticked lots of bitches. It's not what I was, but I'd prefer it.

Q: Is it better to be feared or loved on your way up the comedy ladder?
A: Definitely loved. The easiest way to get good things is to be nice to everyone, and to meet Greg Fitzsimmons at the M Bar.

Q: Your stardom: a karmic inevitability or old fashioned luck?
A: Karmic inevitability. I'm bigger than Jesus, and life is what happens while you're making other plans. Imagine.