Q: What's the first joke you ever wrote?
A: I have a lot of dreams and goals. I have always wanted to have a unit of measurement named after myself. But I want something cool. "Turn the torpedoes up to 5 Kumails." "5 Kumails?!?! That's way too much power! Most people can't handle one Kumail."

Q: What is the source of your sense of humor?
A: My pillow whispers humorous observations highlighting the inherent foibles of modernity into my ear.

Q: In school, were you the class clown or the quiet nerd?
A: Quiet, but super good looking, nerd. With, like, abs.

Q: Is it better to be feared or loved on your way up the comedy ladder?
A: Loved.

Q: Your stardom: a karmic inevitability or old fashioned luck?
A: Stardom? You must have the wrong Kumail Nanjiani...