Q: What's the first joke you ever wrote?
A: It was about candy cigarettes. Remember candy cigarettes? Cigarettes are bad for you and could kill you yet there was a candy version made of them. Why not then make candy versions of other things that could kill you? It's candy crack. Have a hit. Try candy heroin in the new flavor seizure cinnamon. Shoot up. It's candy Aids!

Q: What is the source of your sense of humor?
A: The world is a crazy, funny, stupid, ironic place filled with crazy, funny, stupid, ironic people so what I am saying is that I tell a lot of dick jokes.

Q: In school, were you the class clown or quiet nerd?
A: More like the quiet clown. Funny but usually too shy to show it.

Q: Is it better to be feared or loved on your way up the comedy ladder?
A: This isn't the UFC. I don't need to be feared. I guess ideally, comics would love to watch you perform but fear following you.

Q: Your stardom: a karmic inevitability or old fashioned luck?
A: Karmic inevitability. That's just fun to say.