Q: What's the first joke you ever wrote?
A: When I was in high school, I filled up a notebook with about 350 knock knocks. Out of respect to the reader, I will not list any here.

Q: What is the source of your sense of humor?
A: Sometimes, when I go home, my dad will talk to me for 1 to 2 hours about silage and how it relates to the pickling process. That is where I get my humor.

Q: In school, were you the class clown or quiet nerd?
A: I was the quiet, class, nerd clown.

Q: Is it better to be feared or loved on your way up the comedy ladder?
A: I don’t understand people who want to be feared in anything. It’s better to be loved, but I think it’s probably best to just sit there, play stupid, and try not to get in the way. That’s how I feel about comedy, but it’s not how I feel about voting or other important issues.

Q: Your stardom: a karmic inevitability or old fashioned luck?
A: Well, maybe that’s a question answered for famous people when they die. If you’re not famous and you die, then maybe you get to ask a different question. I don’t have stardom right now, but I know if I did, I would never want it to be for telling Britney Spears or Paris Hilton jokes, maybe the world’s best poop joke, but not that.
Also, as far as stardom goes, you should never do something just to get famous: You should do that thing for the sake of that thing—because you enjoy it or feel like you may have something to add to it. That’s what I think, and it’s also what Bob Dylan says, and he’s a smart guy. I hope my answer was long enough. Next witness.