Q: What's the first joke you ever wrote?
A: The one about the grossly uncontitutional nature of the Patriot Act juxtapozed with Paris Hilton going to jail. I wrote that in 1982 when I was five years old. It was considered very ahead of it's time.

Q: What is the source of your sense of humor?
A: Our sun, which is an infinitely renewable energy resource. As long as it burns bright in the sky, I burn bright on stage. What I'm trying to say is: I WANT YOU TO DESTROY THE SUN.

Q: In school, were you the class clown or quiet nerd?
A: Both. I was Shy-Polar. LOL!
I had a single migraine from K through 12 and had to be home-schooled in a pitch black room. Every once in a while my mother would beat me up and take my lunch to make me feel normal.

Q: Is it better to be feared or loved on your way up the comedy ladder?
A: It's better to be better.

Q: Your stardom: a karmic inevitability or old fashioned luck?
A: I was already a star, but gave that up to work retail. But now that I have returned, I will stop at nothing to bring about my re-star-dation.