Q: What's the first joke you ever wrote?
A: I'll let you know as soon as I write one.
Q: What is the source of your sense of humor?
A: My inferior female brain.
Q: In school, were you the class clown or quiet nerd?
A: I labored under the delusion that I was the class clown. Others surely considered me the loudmouth nerd. Who should just shut up already. Seriously, shut up. Nerdface.
Q: Is it better to be feared or loved on your way up the comedy ladder?
A: Feared, I think. If you're loved then people expect you to do the cheek kissy thing. That whole razzmatazz gives me the vapors, and next thing you know I need m' smelling salts. So, feared. Definitely.
Q: Your stardom: a karmic inevitability or old fashioned luck?
A: Oh, it's karma! In a past life I laughed mercilessly at others, so all this is just what's coming to me. But, if I'm a good comedian in this life, I'm pretty sure I get to come back as somebody with a REAL job! Or maybe like a ficus plant! That'd be awesome.
